Recent boom in the television news channels in India has got hundreds of wannabe news channels who do anything to get their TRPs up at the expense of viewer's sensibilities. This is a bitter fact known in the developed countries since ages. And they have mastered the art of this a long way back. But the disturbing trend in India is that almost all the so called biggies and grand daddies of decade-and-half year old Indian news providers have also jumped into this bandwagon of the "great Indian news tamasha" riding on professionally adolescent (un)professionals in this field who are to provide the content out of content-less Universe. No wonder the whole news is now confined to sex, sleaze, buffoonery, ethic less, etc, etc.
Why put my own judgment when people are intelligent enough to decide for themselves. [ See remark 1]. Please refer the following "nonsense and stupidity" going around the Indian news channels now-a-days of media boom in India:-
Nonsense and stupidity list
1 > Stupid news galore : A 30 second video clip surfaces showing a driver-less car in Delhi with a person on adjacent seat casually reading news paper. Eureka!!!! A content is found!!! And we get a nude news channel coming out with 6 hours of "Special Exclusive Breaking news" and discussion on the incident. The discussion included various scientists, giving various scientific cause ranging from Newton's gravity/Inertia laws, and religious gurus, preaching on the divinity of god, and Owner of the car, apparently found on live camera by treasure hunt techniques by news reporters who would put AXN's the "The Great Race" reality series to shame and the miracle witness who took the clip and was asked a hundred times about his divine feelings while seeing the miracle. Not to mention the 30 second clip that was telecasted 300 times in the span of those six hours. And finally the secret was revealed in a very cinematic climax that the adjacent person was driving the car with his hand lowered than the car window and extending his foot far to the accelerator and brakes. The news apparently was not a dud in the end as the channel actually revealed us the true cause of the miracle.
2 > Once 10 person claimed that the sea water turned sweet in Mumbai beach. Ahoy!! Another news tamasha. We get all news channels with their exclusive news on the incident each apparently broke the news first. And now we have got a mass of 1000 people to get the miracle water. We see hundreds of people drinking seawater like mineral water and getting cured. It was pity that during the half-day long news session no news channels' reporters tried to drink seawater and mentioned water's taste. Finally the news got old and hence the reporters went away so does the miracle.
3 > Work-Ethics: A person, after drenching himself in kerosene earlier, is having a burning matchstick and is about to burn himself up. A reporter comes over him asking how does he feel about his situation and what is he going to do next? The person in his disturbed state of mind burn himself thus ending the exclusive interview because the reporter got afraid of getting himself burned due to the burning man's flames. Poor man burned to death before camera.
4 > Work-Ethics : Reporters asking a six years old girl what she felt when her father burned her mother to death before her a day before.
5 > All news channels showing virtual wedding of Aishwarya and Abhishek's wedding after being denied wedding coverage. The virtual wedding included every imagination coming out of the reporters’ fanciful idea like what Aishwarya would be wearing, the guests who would come, honeymoon spot for the couple, what Salman and Vivek would be doing at wedding time. This idea was sold to the viewers with complete images taken mostly from /not necessarily from various films of bride and groom.
6 > Breaking news galore: 10 breaking news a day for 365 days in a year.
7 > Exclusive news galore: Same news is exclusive news in all the news channels and over different time also.
8 > Exclusive news galore: Extra emphasis is always given while pronouncing "EXCLUSIVE" word. Maybe the TRP is directly related with the sound of "EXCLUSIVE" word.
9 > Revealing Film secrets and plots : E.g., whole India saw all the songs, major scenes, dialogs, trailers, skimpy babes, item number of Sholey, don, etc. No wonder the films bombed down when there was nothing more to see other than item no.s and babes. Same was applicable for Harry Porter books.
10 > Exclusive news galore: When Sanjay Dutt was getting transferred to Pune's Yedwada jail from Mumbai jail, he was taken on police van. One heroic reporter managed to ride his bike at razor's edge distance which would have put "You dare win" program of AXN TV to shame. And asked Sanjay Dutt at 70 KMPH about his feeling and his trust in Indian judiciary to which Sanjay replied:"I have full trust in Indian judiciary. Thanks.". And all this was shown in live in reality TV aka Indian News Tamasha. A minute later the TV screen is halfway cluttered with a ticker of the "EXCLUSIVE interview" and "First interview" with the news channel. Again the clip was shown more than 47 times. I stopped counting after 47th time.
11 > Sex/Sleaze galore : Full half hour special program on Shane Warne's scandalous clip with a slight blur done underestimating viewers' imagination. Another full half hour special program on peek-a-boo accident in Lakme Fashion Week when a models dress gave way in middle of ramp. One news channel described it as "sweet mistake".
12 > Repetitive news: Generally 5 minutes news is repeated so as to make it a half hour program. This is done by 1> relaying same clip again and again, 2> Saying same thing again and again with different words, 3> Calling a reporter live and asking same question of which you would get same reply. Occasionally the time may be extended by calling an expert would again say same thing, and deliberate means of disconnecting the link between newsroom and the on the spot reporter.13 > Tarot card fortune telling, Numerology, Wine fortune telling, Vedic astrology. We get weirdo looking babas and forcefully beautified aunties telling the fortunes which never comes out true and is equally true as Murphy’s Law. But who cares?
14 > Breaking news galore: Salman Khan is released from the jail on bail and is going home through plane. Breaking News: “Salman’s Plane is over Ahmadabad right now." Later we get to hear another breaking news that Salman had to climb over the wall to reach his home. Two minutes later another breaking news comes that Katrina also had climbed the wall just after the Salman.
15 > Breaking news galore : Whole of the Prince's news was breaking news for 3 days. Prince was the boy who fell into the open borewell. Sanjay Dutts entire jail term was breaking news. So was Naresh Goels's sons kidnapping. Not to mention Abhi-Ash imaginative wedding.
16 > Weird news network / Reply's believe it or not news : Separate programs which now focus mostly on the masala news of fashion, movies, Punjab Kasri type news. The topics could be like "Models shedding their clothes for PETA" (btw I never figured out the hell PETA is? ) , "bear becoming the center of attraction in Berlin Zoo because of mother's abandoning", "Gay pride parade is being organized in Italy" , "Brazil Carnival starting", "Person able to survive 5 storied fall from building", etc.
17 > World's scariest videos and funny animal clips like programs : Mostly similar to previous point but with different program name and schedule. This is the reason why AXN never got popular in India, because the AXN's content was taken and was presented by News Channels.
18 > Crime news / Horror news network: Crime/Horror is the funniest part which comes at night time after 11:00 PM. The horror part of these programs is the program names and their anchors' accent. The program names are like "Kal Mahakal", "Khuni Havili", "Sutta mangne wala kaka". And the most memorable line by an anchor is "Chain se sona hai to jaag jao" ( if u want to sleep without worry then wake up ). All the program content are inspired by Ramsey Brother's B-Grade horror movies with a little bit of reporter's imagination. Not to forget about the rumors that they are the same reporter's who created the Abhi-Ash's imaginative wedding.
19 > How do u turn ur 21 inch TV into 16 inch TV? Just open a news channel and you would see 2 marquees of stock portfolio for both BSE and NSE, One for news ticker, one for breaking news ticker. And if ur day is unlucky then u have one more of the cricket match.
20 > Laughter challenge and Raju Srivastav’s buffoonery is telecasted by all new channels.
21 > Discussion forum with no end result and where everyone is mimicking Indian Parliaments and playing devil’s advocate.
My Remarks :
[Remark 1] [[Why put my own judgment when people are intelligent enough to decide for themselves.]] :--------->>> Apparently the news channels do not agree with this or Indians are really stupids to tolerate these crap news channels and increase their TRPs.
Please forgive me for the incorrect facts and figures which I may have placed in this blog. But still this is much less than the one you see in half hour news program who never put apology for same.
At least one breaking news and one exclusive news have being shown in the time u have taken to finish this blog.
PS : Readers are requested to add additional funny snippets as comments for rest of us to enjoy.
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